The Artists’ Nook February 10, 2013
Here we are in the second month of 2013 and I feel like I never completed what I set out to do in 2012.
My plans were to focus on teaching my own workshops and creating art. None of these things happened last year!
Am I disappointed? At first I was. As the months went on I took a step back from my expectations.
Over the last 3 years, I have learned that what I want is different from what needs to be.
I have real life circumstances that made it difficult for me to teach workshops last year. My day job (which I love-more about that later) started requiring me to work weekends in Oct 2011. This along with me co-parenting my children I felt I needed not to teach workshops as I could not give my artists or my children the attention they would need.
It looked like we would be getting staff to take over the weekend shifts but this did not happen. Still in the future plans for the company but a long process.
I had some romantic relationships over the past 3 years. I learned and moved on.
I could have looked at all these things as a stumbling blocks making these circumstances the blame for where I am at but instead asked what is this about?
I tend to keep myself busy with things to distract myself from what needs my attention or needs me to exercise my boundaries and stop dysfunction.
The Artists’ Nook was started in 2000. It was a way for me to find myself as an individual, separate from a wife and mother. In 2009, I went through a divorce. Since then I have been discovering myself. Picking away at what I did out of survival because of the unbalance in my marriage. Identifying who I am and who I am not.
Picking away at what about The Artists’ Nook that inspires me and what part was draining me.
I stopped selling product- a big drain!
Workshops were inspiring, so I kept hosting guest artists workshops, then that became draining.
I wanted to teach, I love inspiring! My schedule was not allowing that….. Frustration.
What is this all about!
For 2012, I did a lot of thinking and reflecting. The Artists’ Nook was built from my lack of who I was in my life.
I created myself in The Artists’ Nook or so I thought based on this lack. Thinking I was creating me but in reality I created something for me keep myself busy so I would not have to face my unbalance in my marriage.
I had passion in The Artists’ Nook so the discovery of myself using parts of my business as a distraction took a long time to sort through. There was “me” in some of it and other parts were for distraction from the unbalance in my marriage.
Since my divorce I have been sorting through all of this, trying not to repeat patterns of the past.
This last year has been huge for me. No more distractions, no more relationships, busy social calendars.
Just me, my boys, my job.
Yes, my job. I am working at CSU Veterinary Teaching Hospital. I got a job here in Summer of 2010 then left to try something that had more income potential. I hated that job and got back on at CSU Vet Teaching Hospital. It was a long process but worth it. A wonderful place for the best care for your pet! My job before kids and The Artists’ Nook was as a Vet Technician (doggie/kitty nurse). I work on the administrative side but back in my element.
My boys are 4 of the most wonderful boys there are. I am so proud of them!
This past year was learning more about me. The real me not just the me I built up to others expectations.
I know art is my passion! I know I need to spend time in the studio creating to create for me. Not for others. With limitations for a workshop or in a workshop.
I need to create without rules (how teachable is this, what’s the drying time, how easy are the materials I use to find). I need to find myself artistically!
My focus for 2013 will be to get in my studio! Creating or just being with my art stuff.
I will work on changing up my website a bit to reflect this year’s journey. I will email my progress once a month. In a monthly email, Nothing long and drawn out . Just honest and to the point.
It has been a journey!
I cherish the moments I have had will all of you! Honestly, If I did not have The Artists’ Nook the journey after my divorce would have been more painful and longer to process. You all saved me through this difficult time.
I truly believe The Artists’ Nook has saved my life! The wonderful friendships, artistic inspiration, the whole package. I would not trade it for the world.
Where I go from here, That is what I will discover in 2013!
Love you all!